Wouldn't Be The Same
by Alixa
Summary: Ron broods over the upcoming wedding of Hermione & Krum RR
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I Don't Own A Thing! Don't Sue!  
  
It Just Wouldn't Be The Same  
  
Ron Weasley sighed morosely at the invitation that had been burning a hole in his heart for weeks now.  
  
Dear Ron, Viktor and I have finally settled on a date for the wedding and I do hope you are able to take the time off work to come, it wouldn't be the same without you. It will be held in London on the first of April and Harry has already confirmed that he is going. I DO hope you come; it's been ages since the three of us have been together. RSVP as quickly as you can.  
  
Much love, Hermione  
  
Ron threw the invitation across his flat in disgust and sighed, it had been two years since their graduation at Hogwarts and he still couldn't shake his feelings for Hermione no matter what he did. He avoided seeing her since the fateful day they left Hogwarts forever and even throwing himself into his new job as an auror only distracted him temporarily, whenever he had a moment alone with his thoughts the same question rang through his mind, "what if?"  
  
"What if I hadn't been such a fool?" he asked aloud. Deep in his heart he wondered how different things would have been if he had only just taken a chance. Perhaps at this moment Hermione would be the future Mrs. Ronald Weasley instead of Mrs. Viktor Krum.  
  
Krum. Ron thought darkly. Why did that stupid git ever leave Bulgaria? Then maybe he could have mustered up the courage to ask Hermione to the Yule Ball during their fourth year.  
  
In fact, why didn't he ever take the time to let her know how he felt? Did he think she was some kind of Seer that could read his mind? If only she knew....didn't my actions speak for themselves? Ron shook his head, how was she supposed to know? How was she supposed to understand that every time Malfoy dared to throw some foul remark in her direction that he took it personally? How was she to know that after her appearance with Krum at the Yule Ball that he waited until everyone was asleep to weep into his pillow in rage? How was she supposed to know that he had a delicious time destroying his Krum action figure in hopes it would break the real Krum's limbs?  
  
A part of me thought it was understood that we were meant to be together, Ron commiserated.  
  
There had been so many times he had the suspicion that maybe she felt the same way..but he was too scared, no not only scared, too proud to bring it out into the open. Ron closed his eyes wearily, how could I have possibly competed with Krum? She probably would have preferred him anyway.  
  
Maybe not, whispered a tiny voice in his head.  
  
Ron's heart lightened considerably, maybe if he finally told her how he felt she would change her mind about Krum. Yeah.maybe. He stared at a piece of parchment, quill poised. What could I possibly say? Dear Hermione, sorry it took nine years for me to finally confess to you how I feel? I guess now you won't marry Krum and we will live together happily ever after?  
  
He frowned and pushed the parchment aside. I should be glad that Hermione is so happy, he mused. And isn't that all I want? Hermione's happiness? Sighing resolutely, Ron reached for the parchment again.  
  
Dear Hermione, I wouldn't miss your wedding for the world, it's not everyday your best friend gets married. See you on the first.  
  
Love, Ron  
  
He hesitated. Could he possibly bear watching Hermione walking down that aisle with Krum? Glowing with radiance on her wedding day? Would he be able to contain the tears of pain? His heart thumped painfully..no.  
  
Crumpling the letter he threw it into the wastebasket and tried again.  
  
Dear Hermione, Unfortunately I will not be able to attend your wedding, the ministry is pushing very hard on an important case I am heading and I can't leave for anything. I'm really sorry but I do hope you have a day you'll never forget.  
  
Ron  
  
He watched as Pig flitted out the window, letter tied to his tiny leg. There was no going back now. He lost her forever. The pain of knowing this gnawed at his stomach, eyes blurry with tears he reached into the cupboard and found the nearly empty bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey.  
  
As the liquor burned a trail down his tight throat he heard her voice:  
  
It wouldn't be the same without you.  
  
Yes, he agreed..life's not going to be the same without you either.  
  
Ron collapsed onto a nearby couch, head throbbing; he couldn't wait to fall asleep. Liquor bottle in hand, he contemplated of times lost and times never to be had, his thoughts weaved a past of shy smiles, stolen glances, and a young boy's fancy. Crying with inebriation, Ron tried to fathom a childhood without Hermione..despite the pain, it just wouldn't have been the same without her. 


	2. Interference

_Yeah…so I decided to update after a year. I will try to be more consistent, it was only recently this fic recaptured my interest. Anyhoo feedback is always welcome._

Disclaimer: I disclaim, you disclaim, we alllll disclaim!

**Interference**

Sunlight was streaming through a crack between the curtains when Ron awoke the next morning. Sitting up he rubbed his tired, bleary eyes and took a glance around the cluttered living room. The long emptied bottle of Ogden's was precariously strewn on the floor mingling with his cloak and that dratted letter. He stretched his aching back muscles and frowned thoughtfully at the pile. In the sober light of day things seemed much clearer. Hermione was getting married and that was final. There was no reason to avoid her wedding day like the plague. After all, he had his chance didn't he? Ron shook his head of these reflections….there was no need to dwell. He indulged himself last night but today he was going to take it like a man.

A loud rumbling sound from his stomach brought him back to earth. Perhaps it was time for a little breakfast and then a new letter accepting the invitation. I'll just tell her that the case was closed or thrown out and she won't suspect a thing, he thought as he strode into the kitchen.

Despite this commendable brainchild, Ron found himself idling over his repast and made every excuse in the book to make breakfast drag on. He ate very slowly causing his entire meal to get cold and wound up starting from scratch. Next, he dawdled at his kitchen table pretending to be extremely interested with the radio's "Ministry Political Hour" discussion on muggle baiting. Then after many, many extra helpings of toast he decided to face the music.

But as he trudged despondently towards his writing desk, a loud CRACK stopped him dead in his tracks.

Ron nearly fell over in surprise as a grinning Harry Potter apparated into his living room. Harry whipped off his cloak with flourish and flung it towards him completely ignoring the slack jawed expression on his best friend's face. Shooting a disdainful glance at the Ogden's bottle he turned to Ron with a wry look on his face, "So. Not taking it well I assume?"

Arranging his features into an expression of utter confusion Ron gave a weak laugh, "I have no idea what you're talking about but I'm busy so if you wouldn't mind…" Harry gave a snort of derision as Ron turned around with the pretense of hanging the cloak up but in actuality was hiding the faint crimson colour creeping onto his face.

"C'mon Ron, don't play this game with me. I know what you're going through."

Ron spun around so fast he tripped over himself, "You know what I'm going through huh? That's funny, because I don't think you do."

Taken aback Harry held up his hands helplessly and looked at Ron in disbelief, "Listen, I'm trying to help."

"I know…just forget it," Ron mumbled, he was not in the mood to disturb ghosts of his past.

Harry took a deep breath and tried again, "Listen mate pull yourself together, there's no reason to get unhinged. Will you at least tell me if you responded to her yet?"

Ron nodded dully, "Yeah. I did."

"And?"

"And I told her I wasn't going, I made something up about having a case to work on…but I think I acted a bit rashly."

Harry sighed and stared at the woebegone expression on Ron's face.

"You know what you have to do right? Send her another letter and accept."

"I know, I was going to but Pig is already out delivering the letter and the post is closed."

"No matter, I'll just apparate back home and get Hedwig. Don't move." A loud CRACK echoed through the room as Harry disappeared.

Ron felt very much alone as sat down and clutched an overstuffed pillow, "Don't think about it. You shouldn't care. You are happy for her. Damn ECSTATIC is what you are." he looked down and realized he had just ripped his pillow in half and there were now feathers everywhere.

It's not like this place can be any more of a disaster, he thought as he took in the cluttered room and mismatched furniture. What he wouldn't give for a feminine touch. His bravado began to fail him as he fell into a sort of daydream. The room was tidy for once and a ginger cat was dozing comfortably in front of the fireplace, a cheerful patchwork quilt brightened up the sofa. The bookcase was filled to the brim, and two figures were in the warm kitchen having dinner and laughing. Ron snapped out of his reverie and gave a fleeting look at his kitchen table. It was set for one.

"Now I'm even happier than I was before," Ron said sarcastically through gritted teeth. Harry's bemused voice came out of nowhere-

"You know that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness?"

Ron jumped with a start, "Where did you come from? I didn't even hear you!"

"I apparated out front…" Harry said with a dismissive wave.

"Er, where is Hedwig?" Ron said, noticing that Harry was empty-handed, and was it his imagination or did Harry appear discomforted?

"About that….I took it upon myself to respond for you, you know I got top grades in auror training for handwriting duplication."

"Handwriting duplica-WHAT?!" Ron bellowed, "What did you SAY?!"

"Um, nothing. I just said that you wanted her to disregard your first note and that you'd be there, that's all." Harry suddenly became very interested with the design on Ron's cloak.

"That's all? That's all? You might've gotten top marks in handwriting duplication but I my friend, was at the head of the class on deceit!"

"That did slip my mind," Harry admitted, "Well, you win. I conveniently forgot that I had added a postscript."

"And what did this postscript say?" demanded Ron.

"Something along the lines of you needing to talk to her. Will you look at that, it's already half past two….time sure does fly when you're having fun. Is that someone calling my name? I better go…." Harry darted towards the closet to retrieve his cloak.

"Talk to her? About what?"

"Listen Ron…"

"I can't believe you meddled like this."

"Me meddling may be the best thing that ever happens to you. You've tortured yourself for about a decade over her, don't you want to at least let her know how you feel?"

"She's getting MARRIED. Do you not comprehend what that is?"

Harry took a moment to fasten his cloak, "I know. But this life of regret you live isn't healthy. It's consuming you, don't you want to at least try?"

"I'm sick of trying, she's lucky I'm even going to be there," Ron said savagely.

Harry gave a bitter laugh, "Don't kid yourself. You've never tried. See you."

A loud crack silenced the string of curses that was going to flood from Ron's mouth, Harry was gone leaving Ron more alone and more confused than ever.


	3. Secrets

_Sweetdeath04: Yay I'm glad you like __B__prods: Girl, I love you too - when are YOU updating?  
Fredweasleysgirl: Gracias!  
MissCourt-A-Doo: Thank yew! __Esrb99: I must admit it seems generic now….but there's a twist that I hope is original.  
Lucid-03-Days: What's wrong with mass confusion? __PottyForPotter: Your name amuses me & thank you for the kind praise __Panda-Monium: Miracles do happen…….sniff, I did manage to finish this under the 1 year expectance…go me.  
Roadmarks: That's what I was hoping for, thaaank you!_

**Secrets**

A week later, Ron was still having a bit of a conundrum. On one hand he was furious at Harry for swooping in and taking charge but on the other he was almost grateful he was put in this position. Now he had to tell her.

The ministry had been very accommodating in giving Ron the time off he had asked for and then some. "You work too hard and it's about time you used some of your vacation time," his superior had told him with a chuckle. Ron had feebly argued he didn't need an entire week off, just one day for the wedding but to no avail.

If you ask me they're all in on it, he thought to himself sourly.

So there he was, four days until the wedding and standing helplessly in the middle of his bedroom trying to figure out what to pack. A half empty trunk with a broken lock was ajar in the center of the room which he looked at in faint amusement, he hadn't used it since his days at Hogwarts.

The way he saw it he needed to pack enough for three days since Harry had basically coerced him in coming earlier. Harry was expecting him in Diagon Alley tomorrow morning to buy wedding gifts before Ron could settle into the guestroom at Harry's flat. Ron decided only a few more trifles needed packed and flicked his wand to conjure extra socks and his dark blue dress robes to settle neatly into the trunk. When he was done packing he decided to take a break and fell comfortably into his bed hoping to partake in a well deserved nap.

Despite his extreme comfort he found himself unable to sleep and replaying the events of the week in his head. He thought about how he had snapped at Harry earlier and felt slightly guilty. It was just that he didn't feel like hearing 'I told you so', especially since Harry did tell him during their seventh year to quit holding back. Ron felt a touch unsettled recalling his missed opportunity to get it out in the open. It was the night before graduation and the flurry and bustle of excited seventh years had finally died down. Ron closed his eyes and tried to repress the memory but it refused to die…….

The common room was empty save for Ron and Hermione lazing contentedly on the overstuffed sofa facing the fire. Neither spoke but reflected in their own quiet thoughts and looked around the familiar common room attempting to engrave it to memory.

"We should be happy you know," said Hermione in a low voice.

Ron looked up at her and admired the way the fire flickered on her pale skin and glistened off her curls before responding a bit stupidly, "Happy?"

"Yes, happy. We have all worked so hard for the past seven years….and with Voldemort finally gone, we'll get to have a peaceful graduation…though I must admit I will miss this place," Hermione said as her eyes swept the room wistfully.

"Yeah…this place," echoed Ron in a strangled voice as he continued to stare at her. She opened a book thoughtfully before noticing his unwavering gaze.

"What are you thinking about?" Hermione said curiously.

_How much I'll miss you_, he screamed inside his head.

"Er, you know….what we'll be doing now that school is almost behind us." Ron said while breaking the gaze.

"Well, we all know what you'll be doing," Hermione said brightly, "With the top marks you managed to make, you'll be an auror for sure." Ron only nodded in agreement halfheartedly.

"Is something the matter?" she asked, noticing his feeble response.

"We-ll, um…" TELL HER coaxed the voice inside his mind, "no, nothing's the matter," he finally said, refusing to meet her eye. Hermione ignored this display and went back to her book. For a brief moment there was nothing but the sound of pages turning and the fire sputtering when Hermione suddenly stopped reading and turned to Ron.

"Do you know what I just realized? Tomorrow will be the last day of our childhood, bit depressing don't you think?"

Ron nodded in concurrence as she continued, "It seems that with adulthood lurking around the corner it's about time for childish things to come out into the open, would you agree?" and it was with this she gave Ron a sharp look that nearly knocked him out of his seat.

Shifting uncomfortably, Ron sputtered wordlessly as his mind raced, _Did she just read my mind?_

"What? Do you want to tell me something?" Hermione gave him a peculiar look and scooted in towards him, "Tell me," she whispered.

Why was she so close? Ron found it near impossible to say anything and instead found himself backing away as his heart pounded uncontrollably.

"Ron, if you have something to say, say it," Hermione urged leaning into him.

He gulped, "N-nothing to say."

Hermione sat straight up looking disappointed, "Oh. Okay."

Ron gave her a curious look, was that hurt in her eyes?

"Hermione, I-" but he was cut off by Hermione standing to her feet, book clamped to her chest.

"It's getting late. I'm going to get to bed. See you in the morning," and with that she quickly departed to the girl's dormitory while Ron sat stunned, his mouth moving wordlessly.

Ron frowned to himself as he thought about what a fool he had been. Graduation Day had been so busy and eventful he never found a chance to explain himself. Then they had all gone their separate ways. Sure he still saw her from time to time but the past was something that wasn't dwelled on. Picking at a loose thread on his quilt he wondered what she was doing right now…..

As expected, Hermione Granger had found great success since graduation from Hogwarts. Her expansive abilities in ancient runes enabled her to acquire the elite position of runes translator for the Ministry of Magic. The flexible hours and out of home work allowed time to pursue her research on house elves for a book she was hoping to publish through Independent Magical Publishing. She had always hoped to take S.P.E.W. further, and with this book she figured she could do so.

Every Wednesday found Hermione in the warm and cozy tearoom down the road from her flat. Madame Marigolde's was an excellent place to cloister oneself due to the numerous floating armchairs that allowed maximum privacy. Sometimes when Hermione was feeling social she would order tea and a croissant and join the energetic circle of witches and wizards who hovered close to the center of the room and would debate and discuss the latest news.

Today she wasn't feeling so societal...she had too much work and too much on her mind right now. She ordered a pot of spiced tea and conjured up an squashy armchair and took a peek around the room looking for a spot with some privacy. Hermione sank comfortably into the inviting confines of her armchair and floated up into a insolated corner of the room. The pot of tea bobbed in the air by her arm and she poured a spot but didn't drink, instead she pulled out her half-finished manuscript from her case and decided to proofread it for the umpteenth time.

Despite her mind whirring with facts and figures, she found herself thinking about him again. _Bit stupid really_, she mumbled to herself, _I need to quit getting off task, what with my work…and my…erm...wedding_. Feeling completely rattled, she tried to concentrate on her tea but her thoughts kept drifting. Could she really go through with it? Hermione shook her head and focused on her manuscript.

She found herself getting along pretty well until she reached her short biography. "Hermione Granger is a graduate of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and an expert in the field of Ancient Runes…." she felt too bored to read the rest, what had she been thinking? If her biography was making her fall asleep wouldn't her entire analysis cause an epidemic of narcolepsy? Crossing out the entire paragraph, she sighed deeply and tried to think of something witty to write.

Ron Weasley popped into her mind. Hermione had to admit she was rather befuddled by his recent correspondence. First he can't attend the wedding, then he can attend the wedding, and now he needs to talk to her about something? She felt a little uneasy, what did he want to talk about? Was he on to her? Out of sheer nervousness she began to transfigure her empty teacup into various random items until she turned it into a sparrow and it flew up the chimney.

"I'm getting worried over nothing, I have covered all bases, I am too clever to be caught," Hermione chanted to herself. The mantra was soothing until she remembered that Ron was an auror who specialized in deception and could usually see through plots and manipulations as if he were looking through water.

A surge of fresh guilt seared through her stomach so she attempted to push aside her moral dilemma and began to refurbish her bio. "Hermione Granger is…." her hands shook as she finished the sentence: Hermione Granger is….a liar.


End file.
